Sunday, September 23, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
This blog posting wouldn't be right if I didn't at least take one little cheap shot at the "Decider's" supposed puppet master. I compare Dick Cheney to Mr. Burns; however, in an older episode focused on Grampa Simpson, it is revealed that the diabolical and diabolically funny Mr. Burns served in a WWII unit nicknamed the HellFish. I don't know much, but I know that blasting lawyers in the face a HellFish does not make.
I was at a certain, massive facility in the downtown area where I struck some gear with two union hands. I lucked out and got the two best union cats down there. The tall guy, whom I've known for years, constantly asked me to repeat myself. "Oh yeah, Pete. I pretty much deaf in one ear."
Fuck Yeah. I know how he got his hearing loss. And to that I say "FUCK YEAH".
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Abdication of Morality:
I served this nation as a United States Marine from the years 2000 until 2005. I served as a part of Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003 from January until June. I have been in harm’s way, though in a limited capacity. Though my experiences as a war veteran are relatively quite minor in intensity, scope, and duration to that of my brothers and sisters in the Armed Forces, my experiences have led me onto a path of discovery of myself, the world, and myself as a living, sentient being as a part of this expanding Universe. I constantly seek to improve my personal knowledge of better morality; perhaps a Universal morality that transcends humanity. As a result, I loathe war and the practice of killing, though I understand the unfortunate necessity of it. It is a part of my moral code to have such a dislike of war. It is also a part of my moral code that it is highly immoral to justify killing and destruction as deference to a supernatural being; since none has been proven to exist, a humanly constructed and imagined one at that. Such a practice is not only to not be condoned, but it must be stopped. I say this unequivocally and without apology.
Here is some information I have found regarding the issue of religiosity in the United States Armed Forces, one of the many problems being a highly problematic environment of unethical religious proselytizing; but more importantly, immoral behavior by the very people we blindly call heroes. On atheists.org, “Dave Silverman, Communications Director for American Atheist, cited a recent incident where the Al Jazeera television network aired a segment showing troops in Afghanistan discussing the distribution of bibles printed in the native languages, and exhortations for a military chaplain telling soldiers that they should ‘hunt men for Jesus’.” Hunt men for Jesus??!!?? Are you FUCKING kidding me??!!?? How is this allowed? How did we ever end up with a military culture where this more likely to be the norm and not a rare exception? I do not ask these rhetorical questions out of ignorance. I know exactly what it feels like to be driven by enough fear and excitement to want to hunt down any man that ever even thought about killing Americans; i.e. me. After numerous SCUD missile attacks and one close call with a seersucker missile, I know that had my occupation in the Marines been that of a machine gunner, I would have mentally prepared myself through many methods — some seemingly bizarre — to be able to ruthlessly hunt down enemy combatants with high volume fire. Had that been my lot in life, I would certainly have had to face the consequences of my circumstances and actions. In going through this many people are scarred very deeply as a result. It’s a devastating thing for anyone, even the strongest.
When “thou shall not kill” turns into “hunt men for Jesus” so easily, it becomes clear that Richard Dawkins may be ENTIRELY right in saying that religion is the root of all evil. When religiosity assumes the bully pulpit of self-proclaimed, unproven, poorly reasoned moral superiority to justify the most brutish and vicious of actions, it is such an abomination and practice of human depravity that any society or culture that condones it is clearly committing a complete abdication of morality.
This abdication of morality must be stopped somehow. This practice stains the honorable service of so many men and women of great. It is not what I signed up for. I didn’t sign the “motherfucking contract” to be a part of this. When I preach that our young men and women of more fortunate socio-economic backgrounds (i.e. liberals) should consider military service, this is not what I had in mind; it, in fact, makes me question such a stance.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Without these mini-realizations and these new tidbits of self-awareness, I would have gone on obliviously unable to change them. As a human, and a somewhat enlightened one at that, it is important for me to consistently dig down and uncover the aspects of my existence and soul that continually get pushed down and covered by my ego. It is astonishing how quickly and subtly my ego covers up the parts of me that I don't want to know about. The denial that I undertake occurs so quickly and automatically that I wonder how much I have been blinded by my ego's guardianship.
I was at the 404 doing my normal Friday night hanging out in the Denver comedy scene to socialize and work on my act. Throughout the night, this woman, who's a sober regular at this bar (imagine that, a chick who doesn't drink and hangs out at the 404), was there and looked fantastic. I've flirted and chatted with her off and on for quite a while. Tonight, I went in there just beaming with confidence; though lately, there has been a silver lining of emotional pain, even when I'm confident and cheerful. So after some sporadic flirting and some upbeat conversation with her, I go do my set. Another lame summer open mic comedy show. I'm a strong performer, even at rough open mics, but I still have sets where I am dissatisfied with the results or just flat don't do well. I was kickin' ass for the first two and half minutes and then lost the crowd; the small, rowdy, drunken, already listened to 16 comics crowd. Oh yeah and a drunk, annoying comedian who isn't funny and blurts out weird things for attention.So yeah, after getting thrown off my rhythm with a heckle, the set went down hill. Lots of heckling, though I did go into the crowd when I got thrown off-course. But with this drunk bunch of assholes, you give 'em anything and you lose your authority.
So yeah, I'm still feeling ok, but my self-confidence has taken a hit. After some more socializing, I decided to leave. I wanted to get her phone number before I left, so I grabbed a matchbook, wrote her name on it and gave it to her with my pen. She was about to write her number and double backed to do the whole, "no, I'm not giving you my number. But you're so sweet for asking. I can't give this number to you because I've been hanging out with Tim all night." Crunch!! In front of a bunch of people, too. I then said something like, "you wouldn't have given your number to me even if you hadn't hung out with Tim all night." At this point, I had made the whole interaction confrontational. Of course, I persisted. I kept on about why she should be honest instead of giving me some bullshit excuse. She said, "you don't have to be angry." At this point, I've really turned into an angry asshole, though I'm smiling and trying to play it off to save face. I looked her deep in the eyes and said, "I'm not angry." She wasn't buying. She told me I was being self-conscious. I looked at her again and repeated that I wasn't angry. I turned around and walked away, totally deflated. As I walked away, I realized that I was angry. I was in a state of self-loathing. I was a little hurt and engaging in defense mechanisms to deny that deflation of ego. All of this while being self absorbed, stillmore.
As I left and went to my car, I started thinking a little bit differently. I started thinking about owning my shit. Owning my actions; good and bad. My set didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I have to own that. I was angry at one of the audience members who was a real asshole to me after the show ended, as he immersed himself and ingratiated himself in our scene and acted like an arrogant dickhead to build up his ego. I was so angry at him, I considered knocking him out with one punch. Actually considered it. All of this was before I asked the girl for her number. I was angry, I have to own it. I lied to that girl about not being angry; I have to own that too. I am always responsible for my actions whether I am in a good mood or not. I can no longer blame other people, places, or situations for my actions, behavior, and attitude. I have to own it all. I might as well. Those are the few things in this world that I do own. It's all my property in the context of John Locke.
My anger creeps in like a ninja. I'm in denial of it so much. But now I'm starting to catch on. Now, I can change and keep fighting the good fight. All of this stupid anger because of a bruised ego. Fuck that, I should better than that. So the work continues. I will be a better person. A person who is respected and not feared.
I think I owe this girl an apology.